Since I'm so behind on the last 3 US Air Guitar Qualifiers (specifically San Diego, Portland, and Denver), I'm just going to roll them all up into one post. I know, I know, my SEO is crying buckets of tears since this makes one post instead of 3. I'll live.
San Diego US Air Guitar Qualifier
Hosted by perennial San Diego winner Lt. Facemelter, the San Diego Qualifier was unusual in a few ways. First of all, there were plenty of women competitors. This shouldn't be a big deal - no one gets out the pom-poms because the sky is blue - but frankly, it still is, in competitive air guitar. Here in Boston, judge and former champ McNallica was so excited to see 4 women competing that she gathered us all together before the show and gave us a little pep-talk. And we only added up to just a quarter of the total group!
Hervana
Second, there was a gentleman who looked like Cold Steel Renegade but actually came to air guitar through seeing an interview with Nordic Thunder that inspired him - how cool is that? And does that make this second-generation air guitar? His name, by the way, is Tyrannicus, Lord of the End Times.
And third, the second round was brought to you by Plinko. That's right, Plinko, just like the game on The Price is Right. Similar to the hat of doom scenario, there were different song possibilities for the second round, and the contestant would drop a chip down the board to see which option it landed on.
Hervana and Mary Kay LatAIRneau behold the Plinko board
The winner was Jolly Green Shredding Machine, followed by Tyrannicus, and they'll be advancing to the Western Semi-Finals in San Francisco.
Portland (Oregon) US Air Guitar Qualifier
Hey, I know I'm writing for Boston people! It could have been Portland, Maine! That's not outside the realm of possibility!
SO ANYWAY, moving forward, this qualifier was even more lady-filled than San Diego! I don't know if this influx of women (across the country, not just in Portland... they may always have had tons of women competing) is due to the new format this year, opening up the rolls to people who may not have competed before, or if it's just the natural progression of things towards air guitar parity (airity).
This evening was hosted by Kara Picante, who, along with her husband, Mr. P, runs Air Guitar PDX - sort of like this site, but for Portland - check 'em out! Something else to check out is this video of Kara Picante's intro - a competitor can't have other people on the stage, but one of the joys of being the host and not competing is that you can have dancing girls. Dancing girls make everything better!
But this was not the end of the craziness - oh no. Things started out spicy and proceeded to get downright nuts. First off, a walk-on answered the call, talking in a squeaky voice and wearing a mask. Look, not everyone can pull off the masked look. Not everyone is Tiger Claw. And indeed this gentleman - "Mystairio" - could not. As soon as his song started, he whipped it off, revealing himself to be none other than famed air guitarist Bjorn Turoque, author of To Air is Human and star of Air Guitar Nation, Master of Airemonies extraordinaire! Portland's fans got a real treat in that he performed a 60-second cut like regular competitors, which rarely occurs anymore. He then took on the hosting duties, freeing Kara Picante to join their huge panel of judges - they had 5, two of whom (famed Portland air band Airpocalypse's Tony Tapatio and Chuck Mung) were acting as one person. I don't know. I can't even.
Tony Tapatio himself also took the stage at one point, as did another secret competitor, UMairican Girl, who was actually 2012 Seattle champ UM. Other highlights included the return of epic shirt-ripper and pink-tights-wearer Jeremy Battlesquirrel, and the throwing around of cocktail weenies. Seriously. There were essentially Snausages littered all over the floor. The "hat of doom" option was in effect here for the second round as well, except it was a Bucket O' Doom, and the contestants had actually heard all of the songs before but just didn't know what they would get.
The winner was Finger Lickin' Good, followed by the towering Whalin' Big Air and his scrolling digital belt buckle. They'll be in the San Francisco Semi-Final as well.
Denver US Air Guitar Qualifier
On the 4th of July, Denver's qualifier was put on by Magic Cyclops - he of the famed American Idol appearance. You know you're big time when someone spoofs you (see also "Nodick Blunder")... and Magic was initiated into the club of imitation by "Tragic Cryclops." Except wait! This was an actual performer, not just a spoof! So here, let's give you the bold-faced text you deserve, sir: Tragic Cryclops.
His performance was a nearly spot-on Magic Cyclops impersonation except with plenty of theatrical failure. Other great performances included Lady Airabella, who flew in all the way from Brooklyn, El Mairiachi (note: not the same as Houston second-place finisher Airiachi) received a 7 - apparently that's a thing now? - and all three of them made the second round, along with the amazingly-named AC Slaytair, as well as Airspray and Roberta Plant.
They too had the "what'll it be" second-round song format, which is really taking off this year... I forsee next year being a tough year for people who are putting on their local qualifier, since they'll all have to make a lot more edits!
Ultimately, the winner was El Mairiachi, with straight sixes in the second round, which are tough to beat anyway, plus his unheard-of seven in the first round making him pretty much unkillable. Second place was AC Slaytair, and they'll both be going to Chicago for the semi-finals there!
Phew! That was a doozy of a recap.
There are just 2 more qualifiers coming up in the next 2 weeks - LA and Santa Cruz - and 3 more semi-finals, and then the US Air Guitar National Finals in LA on August 17th. I'll be there reporting live (or, per my current schedule, a few days later...)!