Well, that's it - the last US Air Guitar Qualifier of 2013 is in the books. Santa Cruz wrapped up that portion of the season for us last night at The Blue Lagoon. Hosted by veteran Dirty Airy, this qualifier was closer to a classic regional than some of this year's qualifiers (no hat-o-doom, no battle royales) but did shake things up a bit by adding an automatic simultaneous air-off round to pick the second-place winner. The judging panel was also a bit of a new thing in that opposite to the DC US Air Guitar Semi-Final that just took place, with its all-competitor judging panel, Santa Cruz had a non-competitor judging panel! From the sound of things, though, that was not a handicap for them, and the contestants had a solid, consistent set of scores to contend with.
Some highlights:
- Dirty Airy had sent out an email to competitors with details to help them prepare (you can read it here), and one of the pro tips he doled out was that you should roll deep at the show; your friends screaming and throwing undies would only help your cause. Mista Fista clearly took that to heart and wound up festooned with underwear.
- Gobo parkoured his way up and down the walls of the stage, a plan which can only lead to success, a la Fretless climbing up to the balcony and somersaulting off it, unless it leads to grievous personal injury a la The Shred breaking his ankles.
- I feel like I need to know more about new air guitarist Jack the Giant Slayer. Specifically, when he says Giant Slayer, does he mean he just plays a whole lot of Slayer? And if so, has he seen Nordic Thunder's butt tattoo?
- Thirsty Motion played the ukulele. He may have taken a wrong turn somewhere on the way to the competition, because Portland is that way.
The second round consisted of Thirsty Motion, Gobo, Mista Fista, hairy veteran Singar the Goat Demon, and Sir Lord Snake Bite, who was covered in fake blood and uncovered in real shorts. So what you should learn from this list is that key tools to make the second round include panties, acrobatics, and blood.
Singar the Goat Demon, round 2
photo credit Beth Morgan
Sir Lord Snake Bite locked things up by getting straight sixes, but Singar and Thirsty Motion both brought it: Thirsty Motion wore clips on his nips, and Singar should hang out with Captain Airhab and swap tips on how best to walk over a table full of drinks and not spill a one (which Singar did here at the judges' table, and Airhab did backstage at the NYC Semi). This put Singar and Thirsty Motion in the position of having a showdown for that second-place spot that would continue on to the US Air Guitar Western Semi-Finals in San Francisco. They had what amounted to an air-off, but it was serious - these other air-offs, it's one at a time, and nobody physically kicks anybody's ass. This one, by contrast, was a FACE KICKING, TOOTH CHIPPING showdown with both onstage at the same time and airing each other to shreds. Heh... shreds.
Anyway, despite getting his teeth kicked in (not making that up), Thirsty Motion prevailed, and he and Sir Lord Snake Bite will be proceeding on to San Francisco in August!
Do you have an arsenal of underpants and fake blood? Do you like clambering around on things at the risk of your life and limb? Great!
