Despite a long hiatus, I would like to continue providing a platform for women in competitive air guitar to share their stories. I hope that I can showcase more such posts in the future and that we keep looking at solutions together.
Today's post is by Rocky Rhoads.
What kills me about the sexist incidents I've seen at air guitar competitions over the years is that it is COMPLETELY STUPID and unacceptable that it is even a problem because we are all intelligent, empathetic adult humans. We all know that it is wrong but for some reason we keep letting it happen.
We shouldn’t have to be having this conversation, largely because this could have been stopped a long time ago, but it’s become clear that this is necessary as we approach our next season. Explaining the current situation bit by bit is going to make this whole thing sound a lot more extreme and complicated than it actually is, because this should really all be common sense to such good and genuine people. As friends we manage to get together often, drinking mass quantities of alcohol and getting rowdy as hell, and yet I seriously cannot think of one time when any of us was deliberately mean or hurtful to another. There is also a recognized general consensus that our group is exceptionally and unconditionally accepting and supportive. If we were all out partying and one of us girls was being bothered or harassed by some douche, that douche would have like 20+ people all over them telling them to learn some respect or fuck off. Yet, it seems like once we’re on stage and in the public eye our personal standards are forgotten. Air Guitar is important to me and if you’re reading this, I’m guessing that it’s important to you too. I approach this subject in a passionate way because when the stupid oppressive crap that some of us have to live with every day of our lives in the real world because of innate physical or personal attributes we cannot control intrudes on our fun we don’t have the advantage of being able to emotionally distance ourselves. And what’s especially insulting is that these superficial differences—gender, race, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, lifestyle, whatever—are the kind of stuff air guitarists worldwide seek to transcend and even heal through air guitar. I’m sick of seeing the happiness that this wacky creative pursuit brings to all of us fly out the window on those occasions when random acts of assholery during competitions, largely from outsiders, eclipse the fun times.
We all know that from the moment they get on stage women are referred to and treated as a separate class of air guitarists from men. We all know that women who do air guitar run the risk of being judged more on their looks and how sexy or un-sexy they are than the actual judging criteria we signed up and practiced to be judged on. Every one of us knows that getting on stage to play air guitar as a woman is basically risking sexual harassment to some degree. Every single one of us has witnessed some kind of ugly sexist thing happen during what is supposed to be a drunken celebration of peace, friendship and fun. It doesn't happen every time, or even most of the time I'd say, but when it does it's a real slap in the face. Why do we as individuals and as a community, continue to allow women be made to feel unwelcome on stage while at the same time loudly lamenting that not more women are willing to compete?
The fact of the matter is that women tend to get personal insults on stage in a way that men don't, and it really sucks and most people seem ok with ignoring it or dismissing it as not a big deal because it doesn’t affect them. When the merit of your performance is ignored in favor of commentary on your sexuality or lack thereof because you happen to be a woman, that's pretty personal. When you are reduced to your gender and your body as you stand on stage in front of an entire venue full of people, that is pretty damn personal. Call me funny-looking, call me stupid, tell me my performance sucked, tell me you hated my song, call me bad at air guitar, but objectifying, ridiculing or penalizing me based on my gender, something I cannot control, is fucked. This isn't about trying to avoid “offending” anyone and this isn't about “political correctness” (whatever the flying fuck that means.) This isn't about winning or losing or scoring well. We can all take victories and losses in stride and for those of us who involve ourselves in the community, Air Guitar has never been about winning or losing or scores. This is about not being a dick and not ruining the fun. Air Guitar is probably the most fun thing in the world. Unfortunately, for some of us, there are some really bad moments where the carefree, escapist, goofy elaborate joke that is Air Guitar stops being all of those things.
Maybe the community doesn’t realize how ridiculously easy this is to address: Are judges being told before the show that saying disgusting stuff to ladies is not cool? Has anyone ever told a sexist judge “dude, that wasn't OK, cut that out right now”? Did anyone stop and think that it would be at best obviously risky and at worst a completely stupid idea to have some basement dweller who edits for a porn website judge a US Air Guitar show? This is really basic, painfully easy stuff. What would happen if a judge was saying something sexist, or making crude and humiliating jokes, or ignoring a female competitor’s performance in favor of her hotness, and a fellow judge or the host, or anyone else with authority immediately told that asshole to shove it? Unfortunately, when women who do air guitar are dehumanized on stage everyone who could do something about it just sits there and enables it to happen because apparently not rocking the boat, or keeping the show going smoothly, or getting cheap laughs, or looking like a cool guy in front of a moderately famous comedian who might re-tweet you or USAG someday is more important in that moment than not condoning shitty sexist rhetoric in front of an entire theater full of people and the whole world. Consider that every time we allow sexist stuff to happen in our shows, we are alienating at least half of our audience, always including potential competitors. Organizers at ALL levels of competition are evidently not making enough (or any) of an effort to prevent this kind of thing from happening, and when these things do happen they’re either too apathetic or too chicken to stop it in its tracks when they have the chance. It is an abject shame to our entire community and the ideals we say we stand for and we have ALL been complicit by our inaction. What kind of message have we sent to everyone who's come to an air guitar show and witnessed some embarrassing sexist crap go down? Definitely not one about world peace.
Charismatic and insightful judges are the difference between a good show and an amazing show, and when the judging commentary is on point competitors love it just as much as the crowd. We are signing up to be judged, and ideally it's part of the fun. As competitors, WE WANT to laugh and have fun and not take this too seriously. This is ultimately all in the name of fun, after all, but assholes keep screwing it up for us. We all love insult humor, being riffed on for our goofy costumes, or the way we totally messed up one of our moves and looked really stupid, we love talking about boobs and dicks and buttsex and ALL that good stuff. Here's the thing: it's REAL EASY to have juvenile, raunchy fun and “festive abuse” and not be mean-spirited or a disgusting creep about it. It's also extremely easy to tell someone they're looking good on stage without being gross. I think any adult human who regularly performs or interacts with the public can manage that, and if they can't, or won't, then they're probably a jerk you don't want around. It is necessary to educate our judges a little and offer them a set of completely reasonable parameters to work within such as “no sexist, racist or otherwise personal insults” or “you are not scoring how sexy the competitors are,” or “this is a competition so say things about the actual performance.” Explicitly stating clear judging expectations won't keep judges from being engaging and entertaining or from giving their brutally honest and real opinions on performances. Asshole judges can be fun, but there is a line between being an asshole judge and just being an asshole. You may think that this kind of stuff is implied but it evidently needs to be explicitly stated.
Beyond simply not allowing the sexual harassment of women on stage, we also need to consider the way that competitors who are women are often lumped together in the “female competitor” category despite the fact that each one of us is an individual, autonomous human being with our own ideas and performance styles. There is no reason to play up the seemingly unexpected surprise that 50% of the population like fun, and it’s precisely this kind of thing that discourages lots of women from participating. People just don’t like to put themselves in situations where they think they’ll be made to feel marginalized, singled out, or otherwise discriminated against. I mean, we all know the reality of how positive and egalitarian the air guitar community ends up being in private, I personally can’t think of a single moment when anyone in this group made me feel depreciated or victimized or uncomfortable while just hanging out. But to spectators, air guitar is defined by what they’ve seen on stage. While they may be totally cool with all the general bawdy revelry, the occasional unchecked on-stage sexual harassment can make it seem like our air guitar family would not be the most welcoming place for a woman. While they may have awesome ideas and a desire to compete, knowing the way they could be harassed and their creativity and effort easily disregarded can make it seem like it wouldn’t be worth it. Depending on what show they’ve seen, air guitar could seem like a humiliating douchefest of epic proportions, and that definitely sounds super un-fun.
Regarding an often-mentioned myth of air guitar that hinges on the unfair and unwanted
“female competitor” grouping: women, or people for that matter, who rely solely on their sexuality to get good scores simply do not exist beyond the most basic levels of competition. As long as organizers properly choose and brief their judges, they will be scored poorly just like anyone who is not meeting the judging criteria will be scored poorly. The frequency with which people complain about the “untalented-yet-sexy women in air guitar” greatly outnumbers their actual prevalence, and it is worth noting that this criticism is disproportionately targeted towards female competitors. Continuing to act as if this is a real issue is insulting to every woman who participates. It is actually such a non-issue that bringing it up just sounds like you're trying to shit on women in general. Additionally it brings up the question to the audience “which of these women are the bad ones I've been told about?” It could be any of us. How do I walk on stage in a crop top and hot pants and pelvic thrust to the beat of the song after someone just told the crowd that women “using their sexuality” are bad? If a woman chooses to wear a revealing outfit or add some provocative moves to their number they risk being made to feel like less of a competitor and less of a person, and then we congratulate women on not being sexy, or not “using their sexuality,” which is straight-up puritanical, misogynistic noise and probably the most un-rock and roll thing I have ever heard. I should be able to be whatever kind of woman I want on stage without being afraid of being penalized for being too sexy or not sexy enough. Every woman who does Air Guitar should be free to be as sexy or chaste as they want to be without that decision being questioned by some dude.
If we want to improve the chances that every show will be a great show, that more people who come to our shows will vow to compete the next chance they get, that more first-time competitors come back again, and that everyone will have as much fun as they possibly can, organizers and participants alike at all levels of competition need to start addressing this crap pronto. The good news is that we will be able to stop the vast majority of incidents of negativity before the show even starts by just caring a little. We don't need complex rules or dramatic preemptive warnings to the assembled crowd: we just need a little thoughtfulness and common sense and the resounding positivity and fun of the whole occasion will police the tone of the evening for us. It’s really simple. Don't offer a judging spot to anyone who deals in racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise bigoted humor. Don't risk fucking anyone's fun up by creating a situation where women or anyone else is guaranteed to have a bad time at the hands of some sad sack with a lack of actual clever things to say. Don't offer a judging spot to someone with little experience actually speaking in front of real people in public. Make it known to your judges, competitors, and anyone else involved in the production that you won’t tolerate sexist or otherwise uncalled for bullshit. If something unsavory does happen, don't be afraid to speak up and set things straight.
Don't try and act like sexist humor is funny for being subversive or “ironic.” Sexism is the definition of status quo, and playing at it in the name of ironic humor, or shock value or whatever you want to call it, comes at the price of validating every real misogynist out there who actually does seek to objectify women or believes women need to be put in their place, or who thinks women shouldn’t play air guitar. Let it be well known that you won't tolerate it, and don’t be too chicken to lay down the law. We are not fighting some system bigger than us, WE ARE the system. We decide whether Air Guitar comes off as infectiously fun and positive and awesome, or like a bunch of dicks who are ok with trashing women in the name of entertainment. Tap into that wonderful sense of community and family that we all love so much, and be ready to have your brothers and sisters’ backs in the face of any kind of blatantly anti-fun bullshit. Make your competition an occasion where any and all can have unabashed, uncensored, humorously indecent good times. Many of us spend all year working on our acts in one way or another, to fearlessly take the stage and potentially make a huge fool of ourselves in front of the entire country: We need to apply the same passion and fearlessness to ensuring all air guitar competitors unconditional, if risqué and self-depreciating, fun. Won’t somebody please think of the fun?
Read Guest Post #1 (Glory Wholesome) here
and my own post on the subject here
** photos by Kara Muir and Pat Paulsen respectively