Chicago's competitive air guitar scene is a strange beast. It's chock-full of talent, but there are also a lot of big names there who are retired or semi-retired. This year, like last year, the qualifier was a small and intimate affair, wherein everyone went to round 2 and the venue was a basement that mocked at people's attempts to connect to the internets. But that didn't stop it from being a totally face-rocking show.
8 competitors entered the ring, and all 8, like last year, advanced to round 2. Of course, only the top 3 will be going on to the semis, but we'll get to that. They had one contestant named "Wild Card," although I'm not sure that means they actually were a wildcard or if that was just a name. Having a wealth of qualified judges in Chicago meant that they had a panel of 4 judges, two of whom were former Chicago winners themselves - Romeo Dance Cheetah (indeed, a former national champion!) and White Flame. And they had Rocky Rhoads hosting the whole shebang as an only-slightly-tinier-than-normal Glen Danzig. Star wattage: high.
The competitors were a mix of veterans and newbies - the city boasts the talents of Midnight Maniaxe, Noche, and Viva la Muerte, and recent export Slam Cabbage came back to town to rip it up onstage as well. And by "it," I mean vegetables. But also air. While his talented wife Cleoplectra was in attendance, she was taking photos rather than competing, and you should look out for those pictures when they hit the airwaves, because her talents do not stop at air guitar.
The judges were throwing down a mix of lower and higher scores, which to me looks like they were pretty even-handed - not just screwing people for going first or rewarding them for going late, and not coming in with preconceived notions of who would be good and bad. In fact, the only 6.0s awarded in the first round went to a newcomer, Howlin' Hank. From what I've seen - and there's a total of 30 seconds of video over at the USAG site - he deserved every bit of that score.
But speaking of throwing things, the Underwear Bonus was in full effect once again. The audience had the opportunity to chuck panties at the stage to show their approval, and Howlin' Hank took 9 pairs... but Midnight Maniaxe got the crown (of undies) with 14. Yowza yowza. The underwear bonus operated differently this year than last year - rather than adding to your points total, your undie haul could serve to boost you up a spot in the second round (so you could go later, and therefore have more chances to hear the round 2 song).
When all was said and done, Chicago had crowned a new winner - and I do mean a new winner, as it was the newcomer Howlin' Hank on top! Second and third were Midnight Maniaxe and Slam Cabbage, both moving on to the Chicago semis!
But before we move on, let's talk about the absolutely most important part of the show. A portion of the proceeds were donated to Noche's fundraiser for her broken-down wheelchair van! Let me explain: Noche serves as a live-in caregiver for two women with disabilities. She uses a wheelchair-accessible van to get around. It's been in bad shape for a while, but then it was stolen last winter and trashed by hoodlums. They got it back, but now it's in even WORSE shape and some parts - like the wheelchair lift, which is the entire point - cannot be repaired. The Chicago qualifier raised $202 for her effort, and other qualifiers around the country will be contributing portions of their proceeds as well. And if you'd like to help right now? YOU CAN! Just go to her GoFundMe page and open up your wallet. And your HEART.
photo of Noche: Brittney Tiane on Instagram