Well, Des Moines will never be the same. A bevy of Kansas City air guitarists invaded the place and rocked faces, and in one case, shocked the audience with a dramatic pants malfunction. We'll get to that, although you've probably seen it all over the internet already.
It wasn't 100% a Kansas City invasion. Newcomer Harvey Wahlbanger brought the fury for Des Moines, even building up a fierce rivalry with Stack Hammer (and everyone else) over the internet beforehand. You can't take a video like that lying down.
Stack Hammer vs Harvey Wahlbanger
photo by Air Guitar Iowa (Instagram)
It was a small group - 7 competitors - which is starting to be the norm this year! That alarms me because it seems like under 10 people is too few. Not that anyone seems to have had a subpar time, but I just want as many people as possible to experience the thrill of air guitaring onstage. Maybe this was to do with when dates were announced; if that changes, next year, I look forward to seeing more competitors at each qualifier.
So, the second round was... everybody. The rivals were tied; the ladies (Stack Attack and Sonic Bitch) were tied, and the people in first were tied (Freddy Fingers and Iron Dragon). And Dapper Dwarf was dapper by himself and made it in as well.
There's really only one thing you need to know about round 2. Stack Hammer decided to switch things up and perform in his underwear. I don't think he was wearing performance boxers because those shorts were not equal to the task. He had... an escapee. An esca-peen, if you will. You are already lucky because this video is censored, but consider how you would feel if you were not only there in person, but were also Stack Attack... his sister. I hope they kept her away from sharp objects afterwards so she didn't gouge her eyes out.
Oh, you want to know the winners? Apart from EVERYBODY IN THE CROWD? Or were those the losers? Well, as usual, your top 3 advance. Des Moines feeds into Chicago, against Chicago's qualifier, Kansas City, and Detroit. In 3rd place, Sonic Bitch will now be competing against her husband, Thunderball, who qualified in Kansas City. 2nd place went to Freddy Fingers, and Iron Dragon took first place, your Des Moines champion!