Another semifinal is in the books, ladies and gentlemen. On Saturday night, the famed Troubadour in LA was host to the US Air Guitar Southwest Semifinal, meaning there's only one more semi to go before Nationals. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We need to talk about what happened in LA!
Even the judges were legendary. Two-time world champion Hot Lixx Hulahan, as is customary, headed the judges' table, where he was joined by comedians the Sklar brothers and Kristen Schaal, who also judged last year's national finals. She loves it and I love her for it. She knows her stuff enough that she compared Air-o-dynamic to Airistotle, which is accurate. Also she's a horse. Am I ever going to mention her without linking that video? Nope!
Ok! Onward into the battle! The very first competitor was someone we've all hoped to get up onstage for years... she went by Private Melter and it was none other than Mrs. Facemelter! Apparently one of the perks, for Lt Facemelter, of being the defending national champion is that you get spoofed by all and sundry; first, there was Lt Facemolester in Portland with the note-for-note copycat of last year's routine, and now Private Melter doing a mashup of all his moves. I'm mainly just excited that she finally, finally got onstage, and I hope she competes for real next year.
As to further competitors, there were two cities who didn't send their delegations to LA as planned. Because of all the missing people, there were a few competitors who didn't strictly qualify this year but were invited to compete anyway, due to past wins or just general awesomeness. But this is a troubling trend - first Detroit not showing up in Chicago for the Midwest semis, and now the Texas competitors didn't show up in LA. Fair enough - it is a long ways from Texas to LA, and probably not cheap - but the Tucson competitors didn't show either! I have concerns here. I don't know whether the problem is that qualifiers are being routed to semifinals way far away, or that having qualifiers in a place where people aren't as familiar means that the likelihood a winner will take off work and spend money on travel is far lower. I am not really in a position to propose a solution - I do want to spread the gospel of air guitar to places it hasn't taken root yet, but I also want those winners to commit! ...But I do know full well that it's not always a reasonable expense to travel to another state for a competition you might not even win. I can only hope a new competitor may read this or another site about it, and get the impression it's as fun as it really is, and decide off the bat to go to the semi they qualified for.
So, onwards into the highlights!
CorpAIRation, photo by Mrs. Facemelter aka Private Melter
- The CorpAIRation, after being sidelined by injury and unable to compete in the Midwest Semifinal that he qualified for, proved that he had made a full recovery, strutting around the stage like he owned the place, which he probably does. He has vast real-estate holdings, you know.
- The first 6.0 of the night went to young highlight of the west coast, Tyranicus. This kid is serious business. Definitely one to watch both this season and in seasons to come.
- Following swiftly on his heels was King Slayer, who was a total fireball all over the stage and got a nearly perfect score - 5.9, 6.0, 6.0.
- Soulstice brought his impressive physique and tiny underpants to the stage and played Timber - not sure if this was the same metal version MARTEEKA did in NYC, but if two people did that in one year I'll laugh my face off.
A couple of ties meant that the second round was a top 7 rather than a top 5. In ascending order, Andres SegoviAIR, Vlad DM Wailer, Jolly Green Shredding Machine, 6 String General, CorpAIRation, Tyranicus, and King Slayer made the cut.
SegoviAIR was thrilled to hear that the compulsory song was Jessie's Girl, which is right in his wheelhouse - I mean, he has talent in many different styles, but a classic like this is more what he prefers than, say, Mastodon. He chair-guitared as is his way, and got respectable scores, enhanced by a 6.0 from Kristen Schaal!
Vlad DM Wailer took advantage of the fact that there was a balcony (where the judges were) and ran up there, as did Jolly Green Shredding Machine (in a greenman suit, which he wasn't wearing in round 1). You have to be careful with masks, or suits that cover your face. You lose facial expression, which maybe the judges can't see if you're far away onstage, but if you run up to them, they should be able to see your Rock Face. Jolly Green may have paid the price here as his scores were on the lower side for round 2.
CorpAIRation threw Corp Bucks into the crowd - when he makes it rain, it rains hundreds, ok - and blindfolded himself with his power tie. P.S., I don't actually know the difference between a power tie and a regular tie. I just assume that whatever Corp is wearing is the power kind.
6 String General, photo by Michelle Daricek
It was then revealed that someone had made a boo-boo, probably due to booze-booze, and had gotten the performance order wrong. 6 String should have played before Corp - whoops. But we're all professionals here and he took it in stride, taking the stage for a string of 5.8s.
Tyranicus may have been a little out of his depth with a song that came out about 15 years before he was born, but he did his best and delivered the most crotch-focused rendition of Jessie's Girl ever seen... at least up until King Slayer took the stage, or rather the shoulders of the crowd, and face-humped half the dudes in the audience. She got yet another near-perfect score - 5.9 and two 6.0s once again - and this combined with her first-round score made her basically unbeatable.
Indeed, she was the winner! King Slayer slew all comers, if you like, and took the crown of the Southwest Semifinal. Hot on her heels was Tyranicus, and in third was CorpAIRation - who will be competing in the finals in his hometown of Kansas City! He may have been more thrilled than the other 2 winners combined. I'm excited to see all 3 of them in 3 short weeks!