The last semi-final of the 2014 US Air Guitar season has now taken place! The road is clear to Nationals! And the last semifinal in question was the Southeast one, in DC, which is apparently always totally mindblowing. I'm smelling a campaign to get Nationals there soon... but before we go off on a Nationals-tangent, let's talk about what happened Saturday night!
This semifinal was supposed to pull in the top 3 from the DC, Philly, Nashville, and Orlando, but due to some mysterious and nebulously-explained situation with the Orlando qualifier, they were only able to send the organizer of their qualifier, Hennessey Williams, who was also a first-timer and went into this without ever having seen a competition live! So tons of respect to this guy. But, as usual (for this season, anyway), this meant there were spaces to be filled by other air guitarists, so invites went out to a few competitors of this season and past seasons. Boston's own Filthy Fingers got the nod, for one! And so did the man, the legend... The Shred. If you're not familiar with your air guitar history, The Shred is a DC air guitarist who proudly rocks for the adults, rather than the crowd of whipper-snappers that usually fills the stage. Level of epicness check: in 2008, he broke his ankle doing a sweet move at the DC regionals. He also loves Rush with an untoward ferocity, which... well, no one's perfect.
It sounds like everyone just ruled completely. I know it's a semifinal and no one would be there if they weren't great, but I didn't hear one word about someone being "kind of ok" - nothing about scores being unusually high - just praise on air guitarist after air guitarist. It seemed like everyone was a "medal threat." But one person I was particularly glad to see onstage was Doug "The Thunder" Stroock, currently the second-best air guitarist in the world. Partly because he is great, of course, but even more so because he's still competing and not "retired." This is my same feeling towards Airistotle, who competed in New York - if you're excellent, win your way up to the top and let the audiences at all levels enjoy watching you! I'm so tired of people retiring. If you have reached some pinnacle of achievement and aren't competing anymore, consider my comment pointedly directed at you. Get your ass back out there and be judged and win. And let us all watch you when you do.
Rant over! Also great were T. Slaypool, Mitt Umlaut, Baberham Lincoln (displaying the flag swimsuit again, as a president should), Shreddy Boop... Dick Diesel didn't sound like he was as thrilled with his own performance but all the pictures I've seen make it look pretty great... Fah King Rocker brought a pineapple with him to the stage and then ignored it completely, which just delights me no end... and then, of course, The Shred. He got straight sixes! Naturally, he was through to round 2.
The rest of round 2 was Brock McRock, Baberham, Mitt Umlaut, and Thunderstroock. Brock McRock caused a mosh pit to happen, which is pretty impressive for air guitar and even more so considering the second-round song was a Weird Al song. He jumped down into the crowd and gave DC a taste of Texas. But it soon became clear that this was a showdown between Stroock and Shred. And then... The Shred did it again. Another PERFECT SCORE! The Shred with two straight rounds of straight sixes, winning in epic style!
Following close on his heels to Kansas City will be Doug "The Thunder" Stroock and President Baberham Lincoln! But I have it on good authority that the rest of the competitors will not disappear into the night - at least one has a Dark Horse invitation in hand and will have another shot at air guitar glory in... less than 2 weeks' time. Whoa!
Photo of The Shred by Alison Kasic; photo of Shreddy Boop by Marla McLean