You may recall that I am very adamant about bringing US Air Guitar nationals to Boston in 2015. I am aware that our main competition, at least in terms of cities trying to make a case for themselves, is Portland, OR. While I love Portland and would like an excuse to visit again, their year can wait. This year is Boston's year. Here are my top reasons why.
1. Boston has its own Portland. Does Portland have its own Boston?
It's true! Here, you have to specify that you mean the Portland in Oregon, because otherwise everyone assumes that you mean Portland, Maine. It's a little over an hour's drive away and it's very nice. It even has its own air guitar cred, since the legendary McNallica lives around there. So, what have you got, Portland? Do you have a Boston? I think not!
2. Boston is trying to get the Olympic bid for 2024.
That's a terrible idea and we should NOT host THAT. We SHOULD host air guitar nationals. But regardless of whether the city can handle a sporting event of literally Olympic proportions (no), it can definitely handle a sporting/drinking event of air guitar proportions. And while it might be a bad idea for Boston to get the Olympics, the fact that we're trying to get them at all shows initiative. Don't worry, Captain Airhab is already tweeting at all the relevant city officials to tell them to redirect their focus and efforts towards the right event to host.
3. You don't need to assume it will be raining.
It won't be snowing either, in August, smart guy.
4. Boston is a sports town in a big way.
Portland has a basketball team, which is primarily supported by Sahexy, as far as I can tell. I'm sure they're very good and their mothers are all proud of them. Boston has all of the major sports plus a marathon, and Bostonians go rabid for all of it. I'm not personally invested in any of them except for hockey (and occasionally all of those fans can get really tiring, not to say outright annoying), but there's no denying the way this town latches onto a sporting event. This kind of enthusiasm can absolutely be harnessed for air guitar. I can just imagine how crazy people would go here if there were hats they could buy.
5. So many other things.
We've got the ocean, we've got an accent (fackin' aeah guitah, ked!), we've got great venues and bars and food, there's a vibrant music scene full of people who would be interested to see people to pretend to do what they do, there are tons of students (as in people who would come to the show ironically and then realize it was amazing for real), and there are a lot of people who like to drink. These are all ingredients for a good time and a good show. Well, some of them are more just for a good time. But while Portland has plenty to offer as well, we just have more. They probably have us beat on artisanal vestmakers, but I guess you can't win 'em all.
