The other weekend (I'm catching up, you guys), LA had their qualifier, and by all accounts it was a killer show, filled with talent and - it's LA - total babes. More on the babe factor in a minute. Six String General piloted this plane, to great effect - having a whole airline theme which was fantastic. I've got him penciled in to win the "Relentless Commitment to the Bit" award this year. Maybe one year he will make my head explode by playing a song by Providence, RI's Six Star General. Also fun: a handful of competitors were part of a group traveling the world having once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and competitive air guitar was one option on their list. I hope they liked it enough to make it a more-than-once-in-a-lifetime experience!
So, things got weird at the Viper Room nearly immediately. A charming and demure young lady in a black and white dress came out and treated the crowd to a rendition of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" that they won't soon forget. This was none other than Caitlyn JennAir (that's a brand of refrigerator, right?), although her lush blonde tresses put one in mind of San Diego champ Tyrannicus... hmm. Then, Kingslayer (not "Lionel Fucken Richie" anymore? Man!) did an Awkward at Best-type routine with giant balloon boobs, which she popped, and pretend nudity (I'm pretty sure), and "99 Luft-Ballons."
But it wasn't all zany hijinks. I mean, in the sense that any air guitar competition is not all zany hijinks. What I mean is that there were people playing air guitar as their main focus as well.
Plenty of the LA stalwarts came out. Like Andres SegoviAIR, showing everyone that you don't need to move your feet to play amazing air guitar. Like Gwarana, who apparently got drunk and decided moments before going onstage to ditch her pre-planned routine and just wing it (I would never have known, she still hit a lot of moves and made her butt "talk" when there was talking). Like Air-O-Dynamic, who ought to talk to Queen Melin about cartwheel lessons.
The Viper Room has a lit-up catwalk sticking out of the stage which is perfect for sliding on - it looks pretty slick - and the show included a few powerslides along it (I think Optimus Shred's was the most perfect), but I'd like to single out Brad Don't Call Me Paisley for his non-knee slide, in which he kept his footing and kept playing his air guitar where I'm sure most of us would have wobbled. Innovative sliding... I like it.
Noodle Arm strutted out in a bitchin' disco jumpsuit and did tons of great sitcom freeze-frame jumps. The audience was losing it for her, and she obliged them by taking her guitar "off" over her head at the end and throwing it into the crowd. I don't have anyone's scores here, but I'm willing to bet hers were decent. If they weren't, what's up, LA judges?
The former Airy and the Fendersons (which is a good name but implies a plural, so I can see why he dropped it) returned to the stage as LumbAIRjack. He roared a lot; maybe he isn't used to not being a sasquatch anymore. He did a lot of jumping, had some really well-timed crotch thrusts, and was the highest-energy lumberjack you've ever seen. He also had an axe - no, a real one - which he thankfully set down before beginning.
Wrapping up the first round, and returning after an absence from the stage, was Dr. Feel Mediocre. He did an incredibly spot-on Back to the Future "Johnny B. Goode" routine. I loved it, the crowd appeared to love it, and I hope the judges loved it too.
I don't know much about the second round - I don't know who made it in, even - but I know how it all ended: the winner, advancing to the Western Conference Finals in San Francisco, was LumbAIRjack, and in second place and advancing as well, Dr. Feel Mediocre!
If you would like to watch the first-round videos, Air Guitar LA has you covered! Check out their Round 1 playlist here.
photo of Noodle Arm from airguitarla.com