Following hot on the heels of Kansas City, Chicago's US Air Guitar Qualifier took place on the following night. The contrast between the two was marked - KC was pretty easy for everyone else to keep track of and even had a livestream, where Chicago's was in a subterranean venue and no one's phone had service. KC had what has to be a record number of competitors with 21, where Chicago had about 8. But the rock was not diminished by the smaller scale.
Personifying that statement was the host and MC of the evening, Rocky Rhoads. Anyone who has seen her compete knows she is a tiny firecracker of rock power (anyone who hasn't seen her compete can watch this video of her at 2013 Nationals). Of course, she wasn't competing on Saturday, but I have no doubt we'll see her bring it to Chicago's semi-finals.
Also bringing it to semifinals - hold on, there, quick draw. Let's talk about the competition first.
- There was a walk-on in boat shoes who had never heard Prince's "Kiss" before. I didn't realize there were caves near Chicago, but there must be, because I think he lives in one.
- Why have we never seen the suspenders/pornstache/hairy chest combo at a competition before? (have we? Has Cold Steel Renegade worn suspenders?) Not to worry, Rainbow Riffer has got it taken care of.
- Sparkle Hoof had a horse mask on. He should hang out with Pork Sword; they could start a little air farm. Sparkle Hoof came in 4th, by the way, so do not doubt the efficacy of farm animal masks.
- Noche drew the dreaded first slot but STILL managed to come in 3rd, thereby advancing to the semis. That is talent at work, ladies and gentlemen.
- There was an underwear bonus: the organizers bought a bunch of undies and distributed to the audience for the purpose of throwing. The more pairs of panties thrown at you, the higher your bonus was.
The Air Apparent
Photo by Ivy Swanson
Noche, as mentioned, came in third. Second was last year's out-of-nowhere victor, Midnight Maniaxe. And winning the entire night (and getting the highest underwear bonus) were the aristocratic stylings of The Marquis! This guy gets around. He competed in Boston 2 years ago, won DC last year, and has now conquered Chicago this year! He'll be back in town again in June for the semifinals.
Still, questions remain. I know that 2012 World Champion Nordic Thunder and 2010 US Champion Romeo DanceCheetah were there... but not competing. Maybe they were judging. Maybe they just wanted to hang out! RDC has, I think, retired - he didn't compete last year - but Nordic did, and the man lives and breathes air guitar, and has been an international ambassador of the sport ever since his world championship win. Has he retired now? Surely not! He hasn't got a pass to the semi-finals; only the past year's winner of a semi-final gets a pass, and he didn't compete in any last year since he was the defending national champ and didn't need to. He could be invited to compete at any semis that need extra competitors, and I guess he's counting on that... but that's an assumption! Also, where is his lovely ladyfriend and talented air guitarist in her own right, Cannonball Mavin? When a competition needs air guitarists and you don't have a pass to another level, the choice is clear! Get your butt up on that stage and commence to rockin'.