Philadelphia has now closed out the US Air Guitar qualifier season. This means that the last semifinal, the Southeast semi that Philly feeds into, is the last one before National Finals in Kansas City. It also means excitement has amped up another notch.
The qualifier took place at Johnny Brenda's, where your humble correspondent was once in attendance at another year's Philadelphia qualifier. This year, the event was hosted by the second-best air guitarist in the world, Doug "The Thunder" Stroock, and the judging panel was pretty epic as well: the legendary and terrifying Windhammer, Dean Clean of the Dead Milkmen, and... Skeletor. What? Yes. Skeletor hosts a karaoke show in Philadelphia, apparently, and graced the qualifier with his presence.
- Taking the first spot was G Tso Money with a total 6.0 of a name: Bruce Lee-bowitz. His scores were somewhat less than that, but that is the risk of going first. Also, I would like to start giving names a score.
- Boston's own Filthy Fingers made the trip down and introduced Philadelphia to his town vs gown routine.
Mitt Umlaut just absolutely destroyed it. Only one 6.0 was given out this evening, and it wasn't to him, but I would question that choice. So, so good.- The person who did get the 6.0 was newcomer Notorious TAP, who played the Law and Order: SVU theme song. Let that sink in for a minute.
- President Baberham Lincoln competed despite organizing the whole thing - no one took the host pass to semis this year, which seems like a missed opportunity for someone, although not Baberham... she was amazing.
Also with incredible performances were DC's Rear Admiral Kickass, who sailed up and nailed it, and Spudboy, who is a tradesman of air guitar and just always keeps on getting better and is maybe not getting the respect he deserves for it. And first-timer Heavy Kev just rocked out with such joy that the entire audience was in his corner. Oh, and Sexy J dressed up as Andrew WK and crushed one of his songs.
Halftime entertainment was provided by a showdown between Windhammer and Airistotle. You might think this would have been one of the best things you've ever seen, and you would be right.
The second round song - I felt proud of myself here because I heard that no one knew what it was other than Windhammer, and I heard 2 syllables of it and knew it was Turbonegro's "Get It On." Which is great for air guitar. Facing off against it were Mitt Umlaut, Filthy Fingers (the mayor of the 4th place spot), Notorious TAP, Rear Admiral Kickass, and Baberham.
I'd say the most impressive stuff here was Mitt Umlaut dangling from the balcony, Filthy Fingers spitting beer to the rhythm, and Baberham ripping her shirt off to show a flag-themed swimsuit underneath. Although the Rear Admiral did nearly fall off the stage blindfolded.
In the end... Notorious TAP came in third, Rear Admiral Kickass second, and Baberham, in a most well-deserved victory, ruled the night! I think Mitt may have been a little robbed but I can't think of who I'd dislodge to make room for him. Anyway, these top three are going to be performing TONIGHT at the Southeast Semifinal in DC! Good luck to them all!
Photo of Mitt Umlaut by Richard Anderson aka Spudboy